This does not feel right

There have been many such situations in my life where on the exterior everything looks rosy, gleaming and perfect but within my inner world, it did not feel right.

Whether it was my decision to move back to India despite a well settled life in the United States, or my decision to not do a typical job and reject many lucrative offers, these decisions have been due to this indescribable emotion; a voice from within me saying that being in this spot does not feel right. These decisions have altered my life tremendously but sometimes I wonder if just knowing what does not feel right good enough to push life in the right direction.

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Lately, I have realized one thing. It is important to know what does not feel right (push factor) but it is equally important to know what feels right (pull factor). If you do not know your pull factors, then there is a possibility that your life ends up in an uncomfortable zone that makes you feel helpless and directionless.

Before taking any decision, remember that push factor is the accelerator to your life but the pull factor is the driving wheel. It is the pull factor that will ensure that you reach the right place safely.

I am all for taking the plunge and choosing the road less traveled in life, but I believe that the push factor can push you in the wrong direction if you do not take out time to decipher your pull factor. No matter how dramatic and refreshing the idea to quit and be free is, it can become an invitation to major setbacks if you do not know where you want to go.

Take those risks but for the right reasons, for the pull factors. Move on but not because you are not happy in the current situation but because you want to walk towards your dream destination. So rather than quitting your job because you hate it and then start looking for a band-aid solution; quit your job because you want to enroll yourself into a college or because you want to turn your business plan into a reality. Move to a new country not because you think your country is imperfect but because you are deeply influenced by the culture and mystics of that new land.

Keep evolving!

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24 thoughts on “This does not feel right

  1. I have read this post so many times to make sure I understand the push and pull factors. Somehow, I totally relate to it today. Pull factor was the driving wheel when I took the decision. Over a period of time thoughts get so clouded with judgements that the pull factor fades away and becomes the push factor. It takes a whole lot to remind under what reasons the decision was taken and thus take it forward. I wish being committed to decisions was easier than it seems.

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    • πŸ™‚

      I remember having a discussion on this.

      Your interpretation is in sync with what I wanted to say. Sometimes wind sways turns our direction and we think that is the only way to move forward. Only if knew that there is a steering wheel right next to you to go wherever we want and do whatever we want to do..Only if we had the courage to get on the wheel even if we are not the best of drivers..Only if we could let go of what we know and explore what we don’t..

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  4. Pleased to go through your post.
    I feel i could get the essence of it.
    But sorry for this dumb question… How are pull and push factor different from each other ??
    Isnt the push factor result of pull factor ??
    Would be glad to know the difference πŸ™‚

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    • Hi Amit. Thanks for visiting my blog.

      Not necessarily. I will give you an example. Like one of my friends who was working in Chennai just wanted to get out of the city & for that he changed his job. It has been two years now and he wants to come back to his previous company and Chennai. Why it did not work out for him? He just had the push factor driving his life which was getting out of the city but there was no pull factor like where does he want to go or what changes he wants in his life.

      If his decision to leave Chennai was for example moving to Mumbai because he always wanted to stay there as he loves that city, then his decision would have been driven by a pull factor.

      Hope I answered your question..

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      • Ahhhh i get it now.
        But he wanted to move out of chennai coz something about it discomforted him which he felt wouldnt be the case in mumbai …
        Although its good to calculate the steps and not be impulsive but if a person keeps weighing the pros and cons isnt that after a while with evolution we might loose our emotional quotient and be just a kind of automated machine calculating every other thing.
        I agree with your point that people shouldnt take hasty decisions but somewhere down my heart i feel the world couldnt be better, it might be always smart to not be hasty but it is sometimes cute and beautiful to be hasty.
        All the above is just a thought, not with an intention to contradict, coz i myself calculate a lot sometimes πŸ˜›
        Hope to see more from you in future
        was a pleasure visiting your blog

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        • Agree with your perspective.

          I do not mean that we should calculate every step we take, what I mean is it is important to know what you are walking toward. Running away from problem is different from walking toward a solution.

          Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Keep visiting & Stay connected.

          πŸ™‚

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  6. Wow! Just loved the post..instantly felt a connection with this..have pushed my life without knowing the direction at many instances. But m also glad that many a times i have followed my heart and did just that even if the excel sheet or strategy books mocked me.
    nice read

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    • Wish we knew that one mantra that solves everything in life…but we don’t ..keep trying a little bit of this and little bit of that…

      Hope you both are doing well…don’t forget to keep exploring..

      Like

  7. At various points in this post, I paused, looked away from the screen and pondered on images from my own life that were conjuring up from the past that coincide with your deliberation on the emotions that standing at a crossroads brings. Every time that I have asked myself to consider the push-pull bean-balance, I’ve procrastinated on taking a step and considered sinking back into the bean-bag of my comfort zone.

    Over the past decade, “Whizdom” has been bestowed on me – hehehe – and I’ve realised that the single biggest thumb-rule for my life is this: when it feels like a push, walk off, when it fees like a pull, jump in. My life’s a living example of episodes where there was only one of the two – and I couldn’t wait for the other to arrive! It’s amazing how magical it seems when the other just emerges as you turn the corner.

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    • True..

      I hope we are able to apply such thumb-rules in our lives effectively.

      Let the wisdom guide us in the right direction for a change. For a change let us not think that we know everything or we know what is best for our life.

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  8. Gives hope after reading.
    Was in a situation couple of years back when I was stuck after college didn’t no what I had to do. cos I had to earn from a place where I didn’t like to be. But now I have started making my way out to the road that I want to be in.

    Motivational post .!

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    • I am glad you are courageous enough to move in the right direction. Many remain stuck in an unproductive situation for ages and you are not one of them. Congratulations on that..

      Good chatting with you yesterday. Hope to hear form you soon.

      Like

  9. So frequently i have felt a push factor in my life and decided to move away from a situation because I did not like it; but ended up being in a worse state. And also many times failed to recognize pull factors because I was already in a comfortable zone.

    One needs to understand these push and pull factors to take a right decision. Very nice read.

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    • There is not just one comfort zone in your life. You can feel peace at many places in life; on the beach to the forest on the hill;in the love of your spouse to the blessings of elders; & in walking the path to taking the nearest exit for the rest area.

      Go explore!

      Like

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