Settling down or moving on? This question secretly creeps into my life quite often.
There are times when I feel settling down is a great, convenient and a stress free solution to everything. Being in one city, makes you feel safe & gives you a sense of belonging as you understand all the underlying cultural and social nuances.
Within me, slowly, this sense of belonging turns into a sense of longing for something new and exciting. I start imagining myself living in a different city, enjoying brunch by a lake side and living a new refreshed life.
Moving on and living in a different city, is not an easy task. You basically start afresh and carve your path in an unknown territory. Smallest of things like buying grocery feels like fighting a battle at times. I certainly do not enjoy the entire process of leaving everything behind and renting a house and setting it up from scratch. It is emotionally overwhelming and at times I hide somewhere within me to escape chaos.
When I look at the other side of the coin, constantly moving in the past four years changed something within me. I learnt life changing concepts such as passion & work can go together, taking things as it comes and transforming handicaps into strengths.
Is it really important to live in different cities to grow and learn about your self ? I know so many people who live in the same house all their lives. Is it fair to assume that they are missing out on life? Isn’t just a small “Facebook vacation” or learning new things good enough to grow within?
Above all, Is the feeling of settling down internal or external or both?
I don’t know yet. What do you think?
Inspiring Evolution 
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Interesting thoughts. It’s OK for me to move periodically but not too frequently. I think that way we develop the ability to celebrate diversity and become open minded 🙂
Cheers 🙂
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Thank you Dilip for sharing your thoughts.
Traveling has helped me understand that we all are very similar; with similar inhibitions and similar dreams.
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Nicely written, and loved to read yours and others thoughts on it..
I needed this, as i am still confused over this tricky thing..but slowly i have come to realize that i am afraid to try and create new memories as the past memories have always been beautiful and i tend to get into the comfort soon and then there is no Need for moving out..good old friends, known social fabric, same old shops..
So perhaps i am one of those who would want settle down ..
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What ever keeps your soul happy, is the right thing to do for you.
Stagnation is stifling but stability can be very productive.
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its always so beautiful when life gets so dynamic with changes all around every now and then. I have personally started relishing it off late and accepting things that needed moving on rather than lingering on just one aspect one chapter of life.
Well written.
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Difficult or easy, stagnating your life is never the solution. Look around, you will realize stagnation never solves anything.
You are on the right track. Just keep moving forward always!!
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The question is like the dilemma of Ranbir Kapoor’s character in YJHD . It is very easy to say ‘change is constant’ …although it’s a hard fact . I had faced a similar situation but it was not dilemma , I have experienced 4 yrs of my graduation in hostel life (in rural city), initially it was chaos , stomach crying with homesickness …gradually I enjoyed the stay away phase because it made me so strong. The most important thing experienced was ‘ You realise importance of parents in your life and vice versa too ….Now I tell my parents you leave me in any corner of the country , this time i won’t cry . Infact i am dying to move out . So settling or moving on both can be fun at the same time prove contagious in life….A very well written post …I got an opportunity to share my views.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
After moving back, I don’t even take India for granted. I accept it with all its good and bad, just because now I am here out of choice and not because i have to..
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Really well described. For me sometimes moving on was a way to run away from unpleasant experiences and sometimes they were opportunities to prove myself. Nevertheless either of the times it was difficult. At the same time it turned out to be the best decisións then.
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Same with us. Sometimes, there is push factor and sometimes a pull, that forces you to move forward. Pull factor usually comes from a balanced space whereas push factor comes from an insecure space is accompanied with a sense of urgency and restlessness.
Eventually, how well you deal with all the newness and chaos, depends on what urged you to make that move.
You are right, it always works.
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I love coming across posts like this.. posts that let me see that I am not the only one struggling or wrestling with the process of trying to understand why I do some of the things I do. I think you and I both are enamored with the feeling we get as we experience and learn new things and connect with new people. My drive for this is so urgent at times, that if I had the funding behind me, I could see myself picking up and moving to a new country. I’d stay long enough to become fluent in the language and the culture, and then pick up and go to a new place. To me, that would be liberating!
The secret for this is that the place I am in holds little attachment for me. It’s the people I would surround myself with that I would find myself having a difficult time leaving.
Not everyone achieves their fulfillment in the same manner. There are plenty who are perfectly happy living in one place their entire lives and taking their occasional journeys to get a break from it. As long as they have a connection to come back to. Others would find that incredibly tedious and need the revitalization they get when they relocate to a new place. There is nothing wrong with either way. People just need different things.
So just as Roopika said, when you are ready, make that leap! Your friends and family will be in your heart and connected to you no matter where you end up.
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Right, Amy. I feel it is all about what works for you and your soul. I am in a very happy space in India right now, but I still feel it is time to move on to the next destination. I have the option to move because we both work as consultant and I acknowledge that it is a luxury , especially when it is paid by your hubby’s company. 🙂
This time I am less apprehensive as I know I am taking this space, my blog, with me. I have even more support and sources of strength in life, thanks to all of you.
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1. We all learn differently.
2. Each life brings with it its own bag of goodies and spice, bitter munches and unsalted ones.
Every time you think you’re taking a decision, remind yourself that you’re only following destiny! If you’re meant to make the move, you will; if you’re meant to settle down, you will. Relocating can be difficult – and this is coming from someone who has been in the same home for 6 years and hasn’t shifted luggage-bags unless she had to – but can be, like you’ve learnt, refreshing and pivotal learning milestones for some. There’s always a great view from the threshold – stand there till you’re ready to step off and take the leap. When you soar right after, look back at the previous chapter fondly as friends like me will be waving you a temporary bye-bye and screaming “besto”!
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You did it again, girl. Captured all the clouds and now I can see the clear blue sky.
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