Ignorance is NOT bliss

20140127-160750.jpg

Empty people,

do not fill me up,

with your ignorance,

because whoever said ignorance is bliss,

was ignorant of  what  bliss feels like.

Bliss is my daughter’s laughter,

Bliss is a loving touch,

Bliss is my self-belief,

Bliss is a friend’s kind words.

Ignorance is hatred,

Ignorance is hurt,

And above all,

Ignorance is a disease,

that spreads like wildfire.

HAPPY EVOLVING!

New Year Offer- Claim your two free career coaching sessions with me

I have an art project to complete. For 3 months now. I have a round table made out of used car tyre with a plywood top. All I need is a few metres of rope to cover the tyres, and put some mosaic tiles on the plywood to make it beautiful. But it is not happening. Not for the past three months despite of some efforts from my end. Amidst taking care of my two toddlers, coaching clients, conducting workshops, and running a house, I am not getting the time to do it.

But I have decided to do it on my own. I can do it, Obama says, Yes you can. I will do it, someday.

One more month has passed since then.I still could not do it so I changed my strategy. I hired a carpenter yesterday. Something I could not finish for four months, the expert did it in two days.

That was a table. A piece of furniture. A non-living thing. Having one or not having one does not change much in my life.

But what about those life changing projects that have been pending in your life for years? What about those ideas, ambitions, aspirations, goals, dreams that have been lying unattended for years?

You want to sort those out on your own. You have made many attempts to pick those up only to either lose energy along the way to pursue it or to decide that you are fine where ever you are. I know the intent is there to live a more fulfilling week day, and a happier life but what is missing is the action and the energy to pursue it.

So how about, for a change, you admit that you need someone’s help to reach your destination. You have co-passengers, people who can motivate you, support you, and love you unconditionally but now you need someone to be your co-driver, and be your GPS to help you reach your destination in a faster, happier, and a stress-free way.

So if you are one of those individuals who has a project or a dream stuck for years reach out to me so that we can move forward together.

If not every dream, I can definitely help you if your stuck in any of the situations below:

I hate Monday! the idea of going to office makes me feel energy-less and unhappy.
I want to do something about it but i do not know where to start.

I want to change my career but do not know how to do it or where to start. I do not even know what my interests are.

I have a fair idea of what I want professionally but i still need external help to carve out a plan to achieve it.

I have no work-life balance. It feels like I live on the weekends and rest of the days are just a mundane ride. There are days when I feel its ok to be like this but now I see my decisions are affecting my personal relationships and my health. I want to do something about it but I do not where to start.

I have certain behavior traits or habits at work that I want to get rid of and adopt a more positive way of living life.

I want to launch my business but I am feeling stuck.

As a leader, I love my team members and my family but I do not seem to be forming strong positive relations with them

So if you are stuck in any of the situations above, I can help you transform your life by being your coach, friend and guide.Contact us now to book your free coaching spot to avail two absolutely free sessions with me.

final1Happy Evolving!!

Happy to announce launch of my venture!

20141226-142734.jpg

Hello friends,

I have been away for long now. As much as I am love with my blog and with all of you, I still had to take out time to pursue another passion of mine. The beautiful thing is that both my passions can happily co-exist, and thrive together as they share their destination – inspiring people to be more than what they can be.

I am really happy and excited to share a big news with all of you. I have started a venture where I will coach people to reach the destination of their will!

My company is called Inspiring Evolution, and it is into delivering coaching (life/executive/leadership/career) and corporate training services.

This new dream has been keeping me away from my blog but this space is the reason for my venture to be breathing today. This blog was the first step towards creating a platform where I can give people a different perspective, and inspire them to be their grandest vision. So, actually each one of you who has been a part of this space is an inspiring force behind this new venture. A heartfelt thank you!

I know all your good wishes are with me. If you want to know more, please visit my website: www.baldeepkaur.com and subscribe to get your free e-book.

Psstt– An offer coming your way real soon. Please grab it before its over.

And, As I always say, Happy Evolving!!

logo-small

What to do when nothing feels right?

Why do you tell everyone about your problems?

Be strong. Why are you so weak?

Listen to my advice. Keep your problems to yourself. People make fun of you.

Do you need everyone’s pity or sympathy? I don’t understand.

Learn to manage your emotions. Everyone faces problems. Be strong and face it. There is no point in talking about it all the time.

Do you need attention?

~~~~~~~~~~~

In our world, it is important to show your happy successful front all the time. It is rare when people showcase their true feelings, online or offline, out of fear of hearing comments similar to the ones I have mentioned above. Is this the reason behind a huge increase in number of suicides, depression cases and other psychological issues in our society?

Continue reading

Dichotomies of the soul

It’s not my story anymore: whenever I speak about the past now, I feel as if I were talking about something that has nothing to do with me. All that remains in the present are the voice, the presence, and the importance of fulfilling my mission. I don’t regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today, I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn’t remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right.” ~ The Zahir

The quote describes my current state of mind beautifully. I can’t describe it better but would like to add a few more lines to it to complete the depiction.

There is inner peace, and with that, just adjacent to it, is focused energy. I am still, I am moving. At the same time. In the same breath.

There is an overflowing gratefulness, and with that, just adjacent to it limitless desire. I am fulfilled, I crave for more. At the same time. In the same breath.

There is love, and with that, just adjacent to it, is endless want. I love, I long for more. At the same time. In the same breath.

Happy Evolving!!

 

 

How to handle negative comments about your child?

Intelligent. Unfriendly. Happy. Smart. Loner. Cute. Too mature. Angry. Kind. Loving.

I have heard all these adjectives from people while they are trying to describe my children, my twin girls who are one year old. As a mother, I have experienced the entire spectrum of emotions in the past one year when I have been on the receiving end of such an analysis of my twin girls. From feeling exuberant to being extremely shocked and not know how to react, I have been at every possible emotional junction where I have wondered how people are so quick to judge children.

We all are familiar with those well-defined, strictly bordered ideas of how I person should be; those tiny stifling boxes where every single identity needs to fit in so that the world can make some sense of you. Even a one year old baby is put into these slots that are socially understandable. It is unbelievable.

As a parent our first instinct is to protect or defend our child but sometimes, with that, there is another feeling that creeps in which is why don’t we “fix” her so that she becomes socially admirable because someone deep down we want everyone to like our child so that she gets acceptability from everyone.

But is that even possible that every person she meets will understand her uniqueness and love her for what she is?

May be not..

It is not possible that everyone will give our child the kind of acceptability she deserves. She will also have, just like us, those few who will love her immensely, stand by her and love her for who she is. I feel there can be nothing more beautiful than to have a few strong pillars in a life than to have an entire fragile fort.

But then what about those negative people and negative situations? As a parent, how do we handle those judgmental comments?

I found a solution yesterday.

Let’s change our perspective and the world around us will change for good.

First of all, as adults we have to learn to be kind and acceptable towards other kids. We have to shed our social conditioning of judging others and put them into slots. We need to learn to accept them for who they are. So they are not bratty or angry or happy, they are kids who are expressing themselves. That’s it.

Secondly, let’s not compare our child to the neighbors kid or to our relative’s child and make her feel lesser of what she is. There is nothing more hurtful for a child than being told by a parent that you are not good enough .

Thirdly, communicate with our child. Help her express every emotion, whether happy or sad. Let her feel comfortable in expressing her anger, frustration, sadness; rather encourage her to do that so that she knows that it is okay to feel a little down.

Above all, we don’t have to protect our child from anyone’s judgments. Neither should we offer explanations to anyone for her choices to anyone nor should we try to fix her in any way. Never.

We just have to let her shine in her own light; the way she wants to. All we need to be is grateful for the love and warmth she has brought into our lives, and stand beside her like a rock to see her grow from strength to strength, at her own terms. Happy parenting! 

 

What not to do to keep your marriage happy?

I immensely believe in the science behind the theories of positive psychology . The basic theme in this school of science is to focus on what is going right, and use that energy to create changes that you want in life. I read a positive psychology research yesterday related to types of behavior in a marriage or a committed relationship that is worth sharing with all of you.

As per the findings, four types of behavior that lead to a unhappy relationship, seperation or divorce are:

1- Contempt – ” You are lucky that you are married to me. No one else has the patience to tolerate you.”

2- Negative Criticism – “Please don’t bother to cook ever again. Look at the mess you make. Why are you so such a kid?”

3- Stonewalling – ” Enough. I am not interested in discussing this further. I am like this and I am not going to chnage. So live with it.”

4- Defensive behavior – ” Yeah right. I am late. What about those zillions time when we get late because of you? Does that not count?

Many times we hurt people we love the most when we decide to operate out of an insecure place within our being . A place where we feel threatened, belittled or misunderstood; a place where ego conquers compassion, and self-pity kills love. We end up behaving in the ways  mentioned above only to make things worse for our loved ones.

We reach this dark place quite often in life. What do we do when we reach that place where unhappiness and loneliness are permanent residents? Get out in seconds. Don’t waste days sitting there knowing each minute that you do not belong there. Above all, the person you love does not deserve to be dragged to such a hopeless and lifeless place.

So stop digging the past and saying things you would later regret saying. Take a few deep breaths and give a big hug to that person who loves you so much.  Nothing good comes out of a negative state of mind. Think about the positive things that relation has added to your life and calmly communicate your feelings. There is nothing that a good talk with a hot cup of coffee cannot resolve!

Let your partner breathe in your love so that your heart becomes stronger.

Happy loving!

 

One Dark Line- My journey to motherhood 

 

There are many couples who go through a very tough time while trying to conceive a baby. By god’s grace, our journey to the parenthood land was quite trouble-free and short. Still in those few early months of trying, I would get disappointed by a negative pregnancy home test. That one dark line instead of two would make me feel helpless.

Even though we both were not really desperate for a child and had given us a few years to make our wish come true before ringing the warning bell but at times social pressure, and fear of not being able to become a mother would take me to a sad place.

Whenever I feel that I am in a place of insecurity or fear, I try to express my feelings through words. That is how and where this poem came alive, from a place of helplessness, insecurity, and sadness.

~~~~~

One dark line,

Your sharpness cuts me through,

Your darkness pulls me in,

Into a deep dark insanity,

Where all hope dies.

With your loneliness,

You bring along grief and sorrow,

That I try to fight.
You can’t enslave me,

Your heartlessness,

Your pathetic existence,

Is not stronger than my desire.

I will succeed,

In creating your mirror image,

I will complete you,

Make you come alive,

With a heart that,

Beats so strong,

That your single dead existence,

Will transform into a,

Beautiful timeline.

~~~~

People tell me that I try too hard in life maybe that’s why I changed that one dark line into two beautiful little girls, Maheera and Inaya.

Good luck to everyone who is in this phase of life where your strongest wish is to become a parent. Stay positive and stress free. It will happen for you sooner than you think. Good luck and God bless!

 

Image source: https://www.facebook.com/bigleyphotography

A game of hide and seek

When you live in the shadows of life,

Day becomes a game of hide and seek,

Where you hide,

From the dreams,

You need to seek.

~~~~

20141226-142702.jpg

Happy Dreaming!